Important adult

Being an important adult for a child can be challenging, but it's also an incredibly important role. The Ommej app is a resource that helps children and young people sort and put their thoughts and feelings into words.

If a child shares something difficult or troublesome with you, it is important that you show respect, understanding and care as a safe adult. The first step is to listen to the child and give them your full attention. Show that you care and that their feelings are important. Avoid giving instant solutions. Be patient and let them take their time to tell, so they really feel heard. Ask the child if they want help and how they want it if they want it.

Worrying about doing the wrong thing or not saying the right things can be intimidating enough. But the truth is that important adults in the children's environment are invaluable and an action or non-action by you can be decisive for a child's future. When it comes down to it, the details don't matter as much. The most important thing is to convey that there is someone who sees, who cares and who dares to stand still, even if it feels difficult.

Think of!

It's normal to feel anxious about doing the wrong thing or not saying the right things. But remember that important adults in the child's life are invaluable and your actions can be decisive for their future.

The most important thing is to convey that there is someone who sees, cares and stands by even when things get difficult.

Some concrete advice for you as an important adult:

Are you worried about how a child is doing but find it difficult to get the child to tell you?
  • In order for a child to dare to tell how he feels, he needs to feel secure that the adult is able to accept the story. Convey calm and put your own feelings and values aside. It is the child's experience that counts. 
  • Sometimes it may be necessary to build trust in order to share a story. Invest time. Find moments in everyday life that you can share undisturbed. In the car on the way to an activity can be a good opportunity to get alone time or in the room in front of the TV. Convey that you have time and show patience. 
  • Maybe there is someone else who has an easier time reaching the young person right now. If so, facilitate this contact. It could be a neighbor, a mentor or another parent. 
  • Often you don't really know what it is or why it behaves in a certain way. Then don't bother about why. It only increases feelings of shame. Rather, ask what you or you can do to help. When the emotions have calmed down,
Do you know a young person who does not enjoy school?
  • If school is a problem, this can create a lot of frustration at home as well. It can be tempting to tap into the young person's frustration and dissatisfaction. But emotions are contagious and even though it may feel good to be understood in the moment, the negative emotions rather become stronger. Then rather stop at listening and confirming. Then bring the youth's voice into communication with the school and do your utmost to find a productive collaboration. 
  • Many children and young people experience stress and anxiety at school. Finding a safe adult at school that the young person can turn to when necessary is usually an important factor. It can be a counselor but can also be a janitor, student assistant or other school staff. It is also often good to have a place at school where the young person can go to get some peace and quiet or to rest for a while. Leaving school should be seen as a last resort. 
  • Always ensure that the young person is not offended. Bullying is never ok and not something a child or young person should have to endure. 
Are you worried that your child is affected by how you are at home?
  • Most families have challenging periods with more conflict. Arguing sometimes is normal and nothing that children are generally hurt by. However, children should never have to feel afraid or unsafe at home. Children are by nature very empathetic and often understand more than adults think. They are also usually loyal protectors. If you know or are unsure whether a child is afraid or unsafe at home, you should seek help. On the municipality's website there is information about various efforts or contact a friend who can help you. 
  • If you as parents have a bad relationship, are separated or have already separated, it is important that you keep the children out of your conflicts. Do not speak ill of each other in front of or with the children and never use the children as tools to hurt each other. If you find it difficult to hold a normal dialogue, seek help. Living in a dysfunctional family causes stress in children that can have long-lasting consequences.

In cooperation with Mind hub for support and training


To further strengthen our support for you who play a decisive role in the lives of children and young people, Ommej has started a collaboration with Mind-hub. Mind-Hub offers lectures and courses aimed at parents and schools, to spread knowledge and increase understanding around mental illness. Their work aims to equip and guide adults in the complex but important role of parent, mentor or other significant adult in the fight against mental illness.

For those of you who feel the need for more personal counseling, Mind-Hub also offers digital psychological counseling through video calls. These sessions are a great way to get individual support in parenting or learn more about how you, as an adult, can be a support to children in need.

Visit Mind-Hub for more information about their services or contact us directly if you want to know more about our collaboration and how it can benefit you in your role as important adults.

You play a crucial role: How the Ommej app can be a support


Perhaps your child has been offered to use the Ommej app in contact with school, social services or in care, or perhaps a child has shared their story with you? Regardless of the situation, as an important adult in a child's life, you are a central resource for children to be able to tell how they feel. When children are allowed to speak, participate and have an influence, the result is faster, better and more just.

Being an important adult for a child can be challenging, but it's also an incredibly important role. The Ommej app is a tool that helps children and young people sort and put their thoughts and feelings into words.
If a child shares something difficult or difficult with you, it is important that you show respect, understanding and care as a safe adult. The first step is to listen to the child and give them your full attention. Show that you care and that their feelings are important. Avoid giving instant solutions. Be patient and let them take their time to tell, so they really feel heard. Ask the child if they want help and how they would like to get it.

Worrying about doing the wrong thing or not saying the right things can be intimidating enough. But the truth is that important adults in the children's living environment are invaluable and an action or inaction on your part can determine a child's future. When it comes down to it, the details matter less. The most important thing is to convey that there is someone who sees, who cares and who dares to stand still, even when it is difficult.

Do you want more knowledge about mental illness in children and young people and how you as an adult can help?

If you suspect that a child is in harm's way based on what they tell you, you can make a report of concern, even anonymously. As a private person, you are not obliged to report a concern, but for the child's best interests and safety, it may be important to act.

You can read more about when and how to report a concern on the BRIS website:

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