Between 2015 and 2017, research circles were conducted on the participation of children and young people in social services, within the framework of development work supported by The Public Children's House Foundation. Just over a hundred professionals participated, and children and young people were interviewed about their experiences of being in contact with social services.
The results were compiled in an R&D report.
When I return to the material today, it is not the results themselves that surprise me – but how well they still describe everyday life in encounters with children. The same obstacles. The same caution. The same risk that children's participation becomes dependent on who the child happens to meet.
The research circles were based on practitioners' own experiences. A clear result was that the difficulties in conversations with children were rarely about a lack of knowledge or commitment. They were about responsibility.
Many described how they stood alone in conversations where much was at stake. The fear was not of listening – but of what listening could lead to. What happens if the child tells more? What happens afterwards? Who takes over? Who bears the responsibility?
When time, mandate and support are unclear, caution becomes a way to protect oneself in a mission that is perceived as greater than one's own capabilities.
When adults' caution has consequences for children
Children do not interpret caution as professionalism.
When adults become avoidant, children interpret it as their story being too difficult, too awkward – or lacking in meaning.
In research circles, as well as in children's own testimonies, the same formulation recurred:
“Everyone knew – but no one dared to listen.”
For children, participation in its most basic form is not about influencing decisions. It is about being listened to. That someone dares to stay and validate their feelings, without immediately evaluating, explaining or protecting themselves by moving on.
When this does not happen, many children conclude that their experiences are not shared by adults. Silence then becomes a protection.
The same pattern – then and now
The most worrying thing about the research circles' results is their timeliness.
Despite new guidance documents, methods and digital tools, professionals today describe the same vulnerability as then: lack of time, loneliness in responsibility and a constant balancing act between the child's needs and the framework of the activity.
This points out that children's participation is not primarily a question of individual competence or will – but of structure. When responsibility is not shared and borne jointly, children's right to be listened to risks becoming highly dependent on the individual.
Therefore, we need to continue the conversation
Based on these experiences, Ommej invites you to a lunch webinar where we put into words challenges that many professionals recognize in meeting with children and young people: children who do not want to meet or talk, fear of consequences at home, uncertainty about how language, age and maturity affect the conversation - and own doubts and responsibility in difficult conversations.
Together with Jessica from Mind Hub We share knowledge, experiences and concrete perspectives on how conversations can be adapted to the child's circumstances, and how security can be created even when the relationship does not yet exist.
The webinar is aimed at those of you who work in a profession where you meet children and young people and who want to strengthen your professional approach in meeting them.
We conclude with overarching principles to take into everyday life and briefly talk about in-depth, tailored training for businesses that want to work further on these issues.
Link to registration – Webinar – Difficult conversations with children and young people – how do we make them possible? | Meeting–Connect | Microsoft Teams
A warm welcome.